"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
