I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
