I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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