hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
