I cannot find my penis.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
