You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
