Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
