You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
