Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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