so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I love you. Go after that dick
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