margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
