I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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