You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
