Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
