just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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