We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
