"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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