How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
