Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
