I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
