Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
