Kiss
Puke
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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