And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
