remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
