Whatcha textin bout Willis?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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