No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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