dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
