How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
