That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
