Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
