What a fucking waste of an outfit
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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