Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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