I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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