I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
