It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
