Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Buhtt sex?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
