There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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