oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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