the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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