Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Of course I have a pirate flag
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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