You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
