she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
