i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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