I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Found the puke drawer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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