Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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