sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
