dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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