super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
