literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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