His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
